When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves
Viktor E. Frankl
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Maria Kalinina
Psychotherapist
MBACP
Past traumas haunts us, while the unpredictable future worries us - living in the present becomes increasingly more difficult. The constant that we can rely on is change.
My aim is to help you take control of the change that you want to make, to claim the life you want for yourself, to find your meaning in your life, and live it as fully as possible.
I offer long-term and open-ended psychotherapy with a particular focus on complex and developmental trauma, dissociation, emotional overwhelm and difficulties with identity, relationships and sense of self.
Many of the people I work with have spent years trying to understand why they continue to feel unsafe, fragmented, disconnected or stuck despite previous work and interventions.
My work is trauma-informed and grounded in both psychological understanding and lived human experience.
I draw on a range of evidence-based and trauma-informed approaches, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Gestalt, and NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM). I adapt my work to the individual rather than forcing people into a fixed model.
Trauma and the Body
Trauma is not only held cognitively through memory and thought, but can also remain within the nervous system and body through patterns of tension, hypervigilance, emotional overwhelm, shutdown or disconnection.
At times, people may understand their experiences intellectually while still finding themselves reacting automatically in ways that feel difficult to control.
Therapy may involve developing greater awareness of these responses, increasing emotional and nervous system regulation, and building the capacity to remain more present and connected within yourself and in relationships.
Together we may explore how past experiences continue to shape present patterns of thinking, feeling, relating and survival.
Dissociation and Fragmentation
Dissociation can develop as a way of coping with overwhelming or traumatic experiences, particularly when emotions, memories or relational experiences have felt too difficult to process or integrate at the time.
This may present in different ways, including feeling disconnected from yourself or others, emotional numbness, memory difficulties, losing time, internal conflict between different parts of yourself, feeling detached from your body or surroundings, or experiencing sudden shifts in mood, thinking or sense of identity.
For some people, dissociation can become so familiar that it is experienced as part of everyday functioning, even while creating significant difficulties within relationships, emotional regulation and daily life.
My approach to working with dissociation is paced carefully and focuses initially on building safety, stability, awareness and regulation before moving into deeper processing work.
Rather than trying to remove protective responses too quickly, therapy aims to understand how these patterns developed and the role they may have played in helping you survive difficult experiences.
This may involve developing greater awareness of internal experiences and emotional states, understanding patterns of shutdown, avoidance or fragmentation, and gradually increasing the capacity to remain more present, connected and integrated over time.
I do not believe therapy is about “fixing” people. Difficulties often develop for understandable reasons and may once have been necessary for survival. Therapy can provide a space to understand these patterns more fully and develop a more sustainable way of living and relating to yourself and others.
I have experience working with complex presentations including :
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Anxiety
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Depression
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Developmental Trauma
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Dissociative Disorders including DID
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Emotional Dysregulation
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Identity Issues
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Impulsivity
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Interpersonal Issues
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Personality Disorders
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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
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Self-Esteem and Low Self-Worth
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Self-harm and Suicidal Ideation
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Terminal Ambivalence
My background includes over 10 years working within NHS community mental health and offender care services alongside 6 years in private practice. This has included working with complex trauma, significant risk, suicidality, dissociation and severe emotional distress across a wide range of presentations. This has shaped a grounded and realistic understanding of how different life experiences impact people and my personal belief that no problem is too great or too small
My ongoing professional development is informed by the work of clinicians and researches including Carolyn Spring, Gabor Mate, Bessel van der Kolk, and Peter Levine
What to expect from therapy
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Initial Consultation (20 min - Free)
An opportunity to discuss what brings you to therapy, your current concerns, and what you are looking for. This allows you to get a sense of whether working together feels right for you.
Initial assessment and Care Planning (1-2 sessions)
A comprehensive assessment to understand your current difficulties, how they have developed, and how they are impacting your life.
This includes exploring patterns of thinking, feeling and relating, as well as what you hope to move towards through therapy. This may include understanding different parts of the self (for example, responses shaped by earlier experiences alongside present-day thinking)
There is no expectation to go into detail about past experiences before safety and trust are established. The focus is on understanding where you are now and what is needed to begin the work.
Together we will develop a clear and realistic plan tailored toy our individual needs. I believe this process provides a foundation for focused and meaningful therapeutic work.
Face to Face and Remote Psychotherapy (50min)
Usually weekly sessions - day/evening with short term, long term or open ended contracts. Tailored to suit your requirements
Please enquire for pricing or any further information
What to expect from Three Phase Approach
Therapy often moves through different stages rather than following a fixed structure. We may move between these phases depending on your needs and what is emerging in the work.
Phase One: Stabilisation and Understanding
The initial focus is on developing safety, stability and a strong therapeutic working alliance.
This stage involves increasing awareness of how past experiences may continue to shape current patterns of thinking, emotional responses, relational dynamics and nervous system functioning.
Together, we may begin to explore patterns of hypervigilance, emotional overwhelm, shutdown, dissociation, self-criticism or disconnection, while developing greater capacity for emotional regulation, grounding and reflective awareness.
For many people, this phase also involves recognising protective adaptations and survival responses that may once have been necessary, even if they now create difficulties within relationships, identity, emotional regulation and day-to-day life.
Particular attention is given to stabilisation, symptom reduction, establishing and maintaining clear boundaries, developing internal communication and building psychological and emotional resources before moving into deeper processing work.
The pace of therapy is guided carefully to avoid becoming overwhelmed or moving into traumatic material before sufficient stability and internal capacity have developed.
Phase Two: Processing, Mourning and Change
As greater stability and internal capacity develop, we may begin to work more directly with unresolved experiences and the meanings that have formed around them.
This may involve exploring traumatic memories, attachment wounds, internal conflicts, dissociative responses and entrenched beliefs about the self and others.
Alongside processing traumatic experiences, this phase may also involve recognising and mourning losses connected to earlier experiences, unmet needs, relationships, identity or aspects of self that may have been suppressed in order to survive.
The aim is not simply to revisit the past, but to understand how earlier experiences continue to live within emotional, cognitive, relational and somatic patterns in the present.
Over time, therapy may support increased integration between emotional experience, bodily awareness, thinking processes and sense of self, allowing greater flexibility, choice and agency within daily life and relationships.
Phase Three: Integration
This stage focuses on integrating thoughts, feelings, bodily awareness and actions into a more cohesive and sustainable way of functioning.
You may begin to experience a greater sense of internal stability, emotional tolerance, self-understanding and continuity within your sense of self.
Patterns of relating, responding and coping may begin to shift in ways that feel more connected, reflective and aligned with your present needs rather than past survival strategies.
Integration is not viewed as a fixed end point, but as an ongoing process of developing greater capacity to remain emotionally present, psychologically reflective and more connected to yourself and others.